Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Meat and Potatoes

Men, and some women, love the meat and potatoes. The detailed story with all the hype and emotion can often be misinterpreted as flowered and unnecessary. “Sometimes I just want you to hurry it up and give me the Meat and Potatoes.” The long story, well, "that’s what you have girlfriends for."

Now, do women love to chat, tell stories and get the details of every little thing down to the very smell or taste of emotion that covered the air? Yes, we often do. Now, can we oftentimes get lost in the background story and forget to get to the point in a decent time? Yes, this is true as well. Oftentimes, this is the fun part of the journey. Oftentimes it’s the stories within the stories.

The guts of things. Sometimes you have to cut through the skin and know at which angle you cut in order to understand how I am feeling about the guts. Sometimes you need to know the angle, the color, the knife shape, where it was manufactured, what the weather was outside and the strength behind the knife to understand the premise for the guts. Sometimes you have to set the stage before you can start the play.

I guess other times it’s important to avoid being a slow movie with a slow developing plot. Sometimes we want the gist of the plot and not the movie. Give me the trailer with an ending! Sometimes we want the back of a movie cover with a quick picture and who, what, when, where, and maybe the why, but usually that is left to the other 97 minutes. The Meat and Potatoes. Sometimes I guess people perceive story telling like a grandmother in a nursing home as she gives you every detail and the background of each leading thing all while taking 4 hours to tell a 10 minute story, but sometimes she just wants to share. Take it as a compliment!

In business it is especially important to learn about the Meat and Potatoes. If it takes too long to understand, you can lose other’s interest in what you have to say. Sometimes we take too long to get to the point. Sometimes we make a movie in our minds and forget to sum it up quickly. Sometimes people can do without the details, but sometimes they won't understand the kind of meat or why red potatoes instead of white if the background and details are not given first. Other times it is best to simply give the outlined version and hope that interest will fill in the blanks as you go.

I’m not sure there is a right or a wrong, but more of an adaption that can be made on either side! Give a little storytelling and take a little Meat and Potatoes. Learn and be open to it. It doesn’t mean your girlfriends won’t listen to the drawn out and detailed story over cocktails on Wednesday, it just means right now the man, and some women, want only the Meat and Potatoes.

Don’t be afraid to give the cliffnotes version but remember to ‘give and take’! It could be the changing aspect and life and relationships are compromise. Life is too short to not give and take and smile all the while.

So maybe I have flowered the Meat and Potatoes but I had to get my point across...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Cards You’ve Been Dealt…

In each of our lives we are all dealing with some type of “shit”. We are all bobbing and weaving to the best of our ability. We all have our mud we are trekking through and hard times with which we are forced to wake up to every day. We ALL have shit.

The difference between you and the next person is how you deal with your shit. Do you lie down and scream victim when you should be sucking-it-up or are you a victim walking with a front like you have your “shit” together? Either way, you’re an actor and need to decide if this is an Oscar winning role or just some baby shit that will grow up some day and flood your life. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want “shit” flooding my life?

You must remember that no matter the cards we are dealt, we are given the opportunity to own the hand of cards and keep it moving or lay down and allow it to consume us. What you need to know is, you are NOT alone. Even at a time that may seem scary, irritating, frustrating, life changing, “everything is on the line”, and/or painful, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! So begin your healing process by owning “it”. Owning your “shit”. Owning the fact that we have all been dealt cards that we didn’t expect, but it is the people who learn how to play the hand that win, even if it is a foul hand and you lose some dinero.

I arrived from Vegas this morning and realized how many people are walking aimlessly in this life, without purpose and goals, or if they have goals they do not know how to fulfill them with purpose. They simply hope for them and cry about them but never get up and own them. They never believe it be true for their life, so they continue to cry instead of reaping the blessing. There is a power within each of us that keeps begging for you to use it. It’s your super human power that is screaming at you like a Transformer character in the 3rd grade begging and pleading you to put it to use. It is saying, “Stop the excuse and push the damn button!” It’s begging you to own your power and make rational decisions or live a little and “step on a crack”. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And the moment you set yourself free, you give up the ability of people to judge you OR if they judge you, you give up the power of their judgment to hurt you. You own your dignity and you flash the finger to the rest because YOU mean a hell of a lot more to YOU than anyone else. And it is amazing that when you do this, there is a window that opens in your life that allows other to stop and admire the ‘core’ person.

We are all dealing with some type of shit. It is our right and should be our mission to own it, speak on it and stop wining about it. Give yourself a chance and advocate for yourself. If you won’t, who will?

You have to deal with the cards that life has dealt in order to begin to enjoy the great connections that will happen afterward. It is when we put our cell phones away at dinner and cherish the moment that sits across from us that we begin to truly absorb the hand we have and learn how to make the right play.

Cheers to living in the moment, to taking a chance and owning the power you have, but just haven’t tapped into yet!