What writingRebe Wears

Spring has arrived despite the cool breeze! My favorite color is Coral this year! I love it!

Death to the Insecurities

Often times, insecurities can sneak up on your life and try to take the driver seat. I don't believe that insecurities just eventually fade away, in fact, I think quite the opposite. I think that in order to conquer them, you must call them out, strike them down and work at them. Work at them like a bad habit to be broken. In many cases it’s simply a bad-mental-habit. Our minds, just like our bodies have muscle and activity memory and we have to relearn what we allow to trigger each feeling. Some call it crazy but I literally talk to myself out-loud and call myself out and I kindly let those I love know, including MYSELF that I am a work in progress, learning to grasp to the ropes with each grip. So be compassionate and when you feel those insecure feelings creep up on you, feel free to read this poem aloud and scream at them - I know I have – hell, I wrote it! Enjoy.


"Death To The Insecurities"

I want my insecurities to commit suicide.
I want them to face themselves as I have had to face them
and pull the trigger.
You are no longer welcome to exist within this being
I give you full permission to end your time with me
You are free to just
die.
Why you may ask?
Cuz I’m sick and tired of you entering my thoughts when you're not invited
I’m sick of you thinking you have so much power when you're really just lying about it
I’m sick of you trampling over my relationships as if you're begging for attention
I’m sick of you trying to be a star when clearly there is already one shining
I’m sick of you
I’m sick of every move you try to pull right when things are going good
I’m sick of you stepping on stage right when I’m about to perform and make me question what the judge in the first row thinks
I’m sick of you desiring to get the best of me.
I’m sick of feeling sad, feeling depressed and unworthy
I’m sick of feeling like "I can't do it", "they'll never do it" or "I'll never be"
I’m sick of feeling like you have the ability to take me from a moment of an ultimate high and push me off the edge to a freefall of self pity
I am sick of you
I am sick to my stomach thinking that I am not the one because of my thighs
what the last man did
what the last boss said
what my last job did
what my old best friend used to pull
what my old roommate always did
what my parents thought was right
what my church said was right
everything that you ever tried to get in between makes me sick
and I'd be happy to buy you the gun and end this right now!
In fact, you make me want to
so take your final bow
You can fall like the 12th hour plunge of the dow
I hope you crash like the nasdaq and never find the light of day in anyone ever again.
You have my permission to commit suicide
Jump the bridge
tie the rope
kick the chair
either way get the fuck outta here
and take any babies you may have conceived with you
Go to hell and don't try and hang out in any kind of purgatory
There will be inspections and I don’t want a single trace of you
I will swarm you with honest love
the purest of kindness
dreams bigger than originally imagined
I will kill you with respect
with commitment
with workouts and self help books
I will bury you with the blessings
and scorch with the fire of passion and morals
But I'd rather you take this chance and escort yourself out the door
I'd rather not hear anymore
‘Second-guessings’
no more ‘everyone is out to get me’
‘he used to’
‘she always did’
no more of that bull shit, none, no more
it’s time for your existence to end
Commit suicide you wanna-be friend

Your Life: Choose to Live It

Today I briefly caught up with a friend and as he told me about his next great adventure and his new take on living life FULLY, I responded with this:

"I look at life this way.. If tomorrow isn't promised and the end shows its face today or if I'm blessed with a lifetime of memories.. I better make them good, worth while, story-telling, rocking chair, grandchildren and book worthy-telling memories!"

Today, and from now on, I hope you choose to live a life worthy of a trip down memory lane!

Cheers!

What writingRebe Wears

With camo and a splash of one of my favorite colors, red, here is TGIF's outfit! 

Luke James Captured Real Music and My Attention

I know a quality singer when I can feel like no matter what they’re singing, they’re singing it directly to me.

A few weeks back I was sent a link of this New Orleans born singer and I immediately took to the status updates to share the link. I was waiting to hear more....

Then, last night I went to the Luke James show at SOBs and although the stage presence was brief, oooo weeee was it sexy!

I felt the sweat as he poured his all into each song as he ran through covers like “Let Me Love You Down" by Ready for the World and R Kelly's "Your Body's Callin”. He brought real music to the stage and he left it right there. He inhaled his hit single "I Want You" and as he exhaled he made every woman feel like his # 1. He falsetto-ed his way through his song "Soulja" and serenaded his audience allowing every woman to feel the intensity with the line "..your body's a battlefield and I came here to fight". With a hit voice and sultry notes that paint a visual picture of two bodies vibrating, this man is sure to collect the hearts of thousands of women, if he hasn't already.

He gave us a quick and honest reminder of music's angel, Whitney Houston saying "if it wasn't for her there wouldn't be many me's".

It's shows like this that remind a person of quality sound. With a full band and DJ, Luke James brought back to music last night what sounded like smooth, upbeat translations of R&B classics like Marvin Gaye’s "Sexual Healing" and falsettos like Maxwell’s “Fortunate” which reminded his fans of what a true vocal range can produce.

After he performed “Made to Love” I pinched myself from an imaginary scene of me in a sexy 60s hair-do, rocking out in a black-and-white, slow-motion picture where I play the woman he saw across the room before going on stage and I immediately texted a friend saying "when someone brings stage presence like this guy, at this stage- give me a show time. I want tickets. Because I'm there!" As for now, I am feeling Luke James. And when you take listen to his mixtape, you may do the same.

Last night I was reintroduced to Luke James and if you aren't familiar- get familiar. When this man finds that one song- that one song that makes him indelible- you're ears will be glued for many years to come! And hold on to your pants ladies, he's bringing songs that may make you want to jump right out of them!

Again, I think a quality singer is when you can feel like no matter what they’re singing, they’re singing it directly to you! So play on Luke James, we’ll be waiting for the album to drop! If you haven't found an artist to grow with in 2012, then allow me the pleasure of introducing to you, Mr. Luke James.

Photo courtesy of: youknowitgotsoul.com

Has it ever worked? People as Products?

It's been tried time and time again. It's the one thing that bites at the insides of anyone with human-level ethics; to make money off one's death- How soon is too soon?

This past weekend a shock vibrated across the world with the news of Whitney Houston's sudden death. This tragedy comes after a long, heart wrenching battle with drug abuse and alcohol. Questions are raised on her value across the industry. Was her "legacy" as so many industry people repeatedly say, a price point? Does the industry ethically mold a person into a price?

Now, I understand business is business. I understand supply and demand. Last time I checked my economics books, demand wasn't about price hikes, but more having your product at the right place at the right time to service the demand. BUT, besides all of the obvious business perspectives of how a company, and in this case, Sony Music, can make money off of a death, the question in my personal ethics book is, how soon is too soon to make money off an artist's death?

A friend in the industry once told me, and this is when physical sales were actually relevant, that as soon as someone goes on life support, put in the hospital, or had any kind of health concern, there is an increase in production. He said, "so-and-so is on life support, put in 30,000 more orders".

If a product is a product, and by that I mean, it's not a living, breathing human, then is it still okay to increase prices and supply? Sure. For example: If there is a shortage in Aquafina water, for supply and demand purposes, Poland Spring should increase their supply to gain profit. There is a demand, and Poland Spring supplies. But dammit, why is Whitney or Michael, Amy or Etta or any person that's viewed as a product, valued in the market place the same way? Again I ask, how soon is too soon?

Other people in the industry have had a few disturbing thoughts in a sequence like this: "Whitney died!!!!" "Oh my gosh, Whitney is gone!" "I can't believe it!" "My bonus is going to be nice this year!" "What has this industry done to me?"

Does there come a point when we depreciate the value of a human based on the increase in value of them as the product?

Not more than 6 hours after being pronounced dead, there were already tributes happening to Whitney's life. Her cause of death had not been known nor her body even removed from the scene. Not more than 13 hours later there were conference discussions on price campaigns and price hikes. Not more than 15 hours later album sales and individual download records were being analyzed.

My ethics question here is not about the artist as a product, because like Film, Art and even Sports, we all know some people are worth more in death than in life. My questions here are, do we value mourning, do we value the life lived, do we value time or simply equate time to money and act with such a lack in human value only to watch how that quadruples the amount of zeros in the bank account? Do we value the legacy or do we simply value the price point we put on it?

How soon is too soon to profit on the death of a legacy? Is there room for a soul in economics?

(The above mentioned companies and names are mentioned out of personal opinion and do not reflect the facts of said companies are names)

Nothing Short of a Great WIN

It's not too often that you get to see God show off and watch his plan unravel while his actions take place. Well, with some divine intervention, being at the right job at the right time and being a smile for all to see, my friend took a chance on a contest and with help from her friends all around the world, she made it and she made it well! The next Global Grind Celebrity Corespondent is my friend Makho Ndlovu . It's not everyday that the right person, inside and out, steps into a position that suits perfect. It's like wool in winter, pumpkin spice lattes in fall and much success in the spring! Cheers to her and the many opportunities that will follow. Believe in the power of your resources and making it happen for yourself. She DID!

Follow her @makhondlovu for your next celebrity event with a "real woman, real person, really down-to-earth corespondent, Makho!" -WritingRebe

Heart on Fire for Another ... Better be for YOU too...

‎"You cannot kindle a fire in any other heart until it is burning within your own." - Eleanor Doan

There Has Come a Point

There has come a point in my life where I realize that living isn’t living without a little risk; that a little mystery and rug cuttin' never hurt anybody. I learned that family can drive you all-the-way crazy and it make you fly more than 2,000 miles just to see them. I’ve learned that living isn't living without some drama and family feuds, without stirring up the pot of the things "not to talk about" and call it like it is. I’ve also learned the kind of fires that that ignites and I've witnessed the many years it can take to forgive those who’ve burned you. I've learned that laughter is truly an amazing medicine and saying something nice to a stranger may shock them but that's when you know the world still needs it. I've learned that love comes in all shapes and sizes. It tries to squeeze through holes like roaches and rats in New York City and it will break down barriers if you give it enough time to muster. I've learned that good things don't look like gold all the time but with money, surgery and access you can make $10 look like $10 million. And I've learned that even when you look, make or have 10 million, you're heart can look like scum that feeds off scum. I've also learned that only God can help you at any point but once you've reached places close to scum, you tend to reach your hands higher; you tend to gain perspective and it's in those realizations that your character shows! I've learned that life taken too seriously will have you fail everyday in love and if you live your life wondering "what if" you may miss the "right now". I've learned that fantasy doesn't kill anyone and its perfectly fine to talk about, read about and implement but when you mix that up with your reality, you can miss out on the chaotic, real, rollercoaster that is YOUR life. And I've learned it’s not worth missing! I've realized the one thing that keeps you inspired beyond tired eyes, hectic schedules and life's bitter and annoying moments, is the one thing that you're supposed to do. "If you wake up every morning and all you can think about is singing, than baby, you’re supposed to be a singer!" (Sister Act 2) I’ve learned that when love pulls at you, you’ll either run, pull back or learn to just give in. And if you fall in love with something you like, you're closer than most people will ever be to discovering your purpose. I've learned that life will lead you onto some messed up, dirty, run down, rocky roads but if you never learned how to drive them, you'd never be prepared for the larger gaps in road that lie ahead. If you weren't hurt, you'd never know which aisle the bandaids are on and if you were never burned, you'd never see where self-development enters. You would have never let vulnerabilities set up shop or painful realities begin to show their root on the core of what we see as your bitterness. If you never had a bad friend, you'd never know the good one you had and if you never saw trouble, you'd never know which places to find security. I’ve learned that a smile can be seen from within and I can tell those who are faking it. I've learned that a hug can squeeze out doubt and pain and pack in love and understanding. I've learned that differences make you smarter and love makes you stronger. I've realized to never mess up your support system and accountability beats arrogance. I've learned time has this crazy play on our lives where it can feel like it's never going to end and also feel like it's flown faster than you ever thought possible. I've learned to breathe in the moment and yes, take pictures, but don't spend time filling up your external memory card, but rather engage in the memory computing right now. Live with the joy that tomorrow is coming but try not to spoil the joy of right now. I've learned to simply smile and with each inhale - and forgive... Forgiveness is directly tied to your growth and it's amazing how much you can grow externally and how young you can end up internally. I've learned initiative is a beautiful and delicate action for which you will be grateful to explore and learn, so dare try! And at the end- believe in what you don't see, even if it’s something about you…

Inspiration is...

Inspiration is an endless source of food to my soul, Inspiration lies in places to which only you can testify; it's in between the beat, it's the voice that speaks, it's the words that are spoken, it's the actions taken, it's the footsteps that amount to miles. Inspiration is an endless source of food to my soul and propels me onward...

Get Out Of Your Own Way...

There comes a point in every part of development where we think we “know it all”, and for those of us who were born with this “know it all” mentality, we have had to develop a way to fight not only the pride that we acquire through knowledge and experience but fight the natural urge to “know it ALL”. Because if someone has not already told you, or if you haven’t looked in the mirror and recognized that you truly DO NOT know it all, you’re missing the passage to the next stage of your life. So I am here to empathize and let you know, that I too, have to constantly get out of my own way… Get out of my way so I can let other things develop; so I can step into a greater position, a higher level of understanding and greater source of power that we naturally possess but forget we have. The well to your self development has been in your backyard your entire life, yet we forget to tap into it and drink of it. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY… Stop getting in the way of your having fun, your loving fully, your being free, your ability to create, your smiling, your losing weight, your power to develop business and ideas, your making more money, your spending more quality time, your giving of yourself, your feeling encouraged, empowered, inspired, your willingness to laugh and smile, your taking life lightly and your living to your fullest potential.

You can’t be mad, irritated or annoyed at anyone but yourself if you refuse to change and use your abilities. Tap into what you have already been given. The source is not some mystery God send that no one can seem to find. It's right there waiting for you dig it up, drink from it and get the hell out of the way!!!!! Then you can look in the mirror and say, “hello the next phase of myself, I’m glad we’ve finally met!”

If you can reach the point where you recognize that you’re the only one in the way, you’ve made it half way. Now deal with it, call yourself out, be compassionate with yourself and then tell yourself to sit down and shut up. We have to get out of our heads sometimes, surpass the emotion of a scenario and slap a Post-it on our foreheads that says, “Get out of the way!” Then look in the mirror and understand that if you’re not frustrated, you’re not going to progress. So get to sitting down and letting the next phase of yourself stand up and change your ways. Try it for two weeks and see if you don't notice a change in your relationships, your planning, your ideas, your thoughts, your happiness or just an increase in how much you smile. Get out of your way so you can love openly, love freely, strive harder, learn more, encourage deeper, inspire greater, reach further and finish this portion of the race.

We’re waiting…

What Is Time Spent?

Webster has a clear definition of each way we use the word time. We use it to describe duration. We use it to describe an occasion when something occurs. We use it to describe the exact hour, moment and second. We use it to describe seasons and lifetimes and a person’s experience such as “a good time” or “going through a hard time”.

We use it in music to describe tempos and rhythms.

Do we count the amount of time and calculate that as a conclusion of how much someone cares? If they have a poor work record can we find a correlation between how much time is spent towards that work? Are we so fixed on time that we have designated an amount that is equal to such things as caring, loving, wanting, desiring, working hard and working toward? Have we put a cap on things in a timely way and forgotten there are exceptions?

Here it is bluntly, forwardly and as honest as I can convey it…

I want to spend time. I want to spend it like money. I want to spend it like it doesn’t matter and like it might be gone tomorrow. I want to spend it like it there may be an abundance left but maybe not for one of us. I want to spend time like, like, like I really care. I spend time with my family and I treasure each moment because many of us know that all to often time runs out and we feel like we didn’t spend enough. So I want to spend time like if it could be measured with smiles and passionate moments. Like if some women like the 1-minute man and are not afraid to say, “yes, thank you, that is a damn good time.” And like the women who can’t get enough and where long nights don’t seem like they should end and 1 minute just keeps duplicating. Like we were meant to meet and time is on our side. Like we could write a book on how much time we’ve spent by laying out all the crazy places we’ve kissed or weird looks we get. Like dinners and busy days. Like long schedules and catching up. It could be written with the many streets we’ve traveled or the 2 just around the way. It could be with laughter and how many jokes we tell or how many we play. How many silly faces we make and weird expressions. How many times we’ve said our hellos and goodnights and in how many languages. Or how many sarcastic remarks are said lol. It could be written in time with just the measure of how much we could look in each other’s eyes and not want to look away. It could be written in the fact that you like a certain food that I hate or the amazing way you pull me close or the funny way you act out an impression of people in this horrible, not-even-close impressionist way and the way it makes me laugh. We could measure it in silence or in the number of footsteps from your place to mine as you walk me each time. We could measure it in gratitude. We could measure it in books read, risks taken or skills learned. In stories told or stories written. It could be measured in challenges taken or how much humility we’ve accepted. It could be measured in the number of accidents, buckets of ice, silly stories, hard moments and workout schedules. In daily routines and what we eat.

The point is it can be measured in any old way. It just can’t be fast forwarded or be put in reverse so the point I’m trying to make is, whatever the amount of time is, I want to spend it. I want to indulge in it like a fat kid and cake. I want to empower it like the ancestors’ struggles. I want to embody it how a butterfly does a caterpillar. I want to sing to it like a medley of Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin and Patti Labelle. I want to work it out like a body builder and a daily runner. I want to encourage it like a teacher and capture it like in the eyes of a child. I want to share it like a story and soak in it like a walk in the rain. I want to sweat in it like a passionate night and lay in it like hammock. I want to play it up like a jazz solo and harness it like the beat to our favorite songs.

I want to simply and utterly, no matter the measure on societal clocks, I want to simply and utterly be with you in this space at this exact moment to spend time and...

spend it with you…

The Meat and Potatoes

Men, and some women, love the meat and potatoes. The detailed story with all the hype and emotion can often be misinterpreted as flowered and unnecessary. “Sometimes I just want you to hurry it up and give me the Meat and Potatoes.” The long story, well, "that’s what you have girlfriends for."

Now, do women love to chat, tell stories and get the details of every little thing down to the very smell or taste of emotion that covered the air? Yes, we often do. Now, can we oftentimes get lost in the background story and forget to get to the point in a decent time? Yes, this is true as well. Oftentimes, this is the fun part of the journey. Oftentimes it’s the stories within the stories.

The guts of things. Sometimes you have to cut through the skin and know at which angle you cut in order to understand how I am feeling about the guts. Sometimes you need to know the angle, the color, the knife shape, where it was manufactured, what the weather was outside and the strength behind the knife to understand the premise for the guts. Sometimes you have to set the stage before you can start the play.

I guess other times it’s important to avoid being a slow movie with a slow developing plot. Sometimes we want the gist of the plot and not the movie. Give me the trailer with an ending! Sometimes we want the back of a movie cover with a quick picture and who, what, when, where, and maybe the why, but usually that is left to the other 97 minutes. The Meat and Potatoes. Sometimes I guess people perceive story telling like a grandmother in a nursing home as she gives you every detail and the background of each leading thing all while taking 4 hours to tell a 10 minute story, but sometimes she just wants to share. Take it as a compliment!

In business it is especially important to learn about the Meat and Potatoes. If it takes too long to understand, you can lose other’s interest in what you have to say. Sometimes we take too long to get to the point. Sometimes we make a movie in our minds and forget to sum it up quickly. Sometimes people can do without the details, but sometimes they won't understand the kind of meat or why red potatoes instead of white if the background and details are not given first. Other times it is best to simply give the outlined version and hope that interest will fill in the blanks as you go.

I’m not sure there is a right or a wrong, but more of an adaption that can be made on either side! Give a little storytelling and take a little Meat and Potatoes. Learn and be open to it. It doesn’t mean your girlfriends won’t listen to the drawn out and detailed story over cocktails on Wednesday, it just means right now the man, and some women, want only the Meat and Potatoes.

Don’t be afraid to give the cliffnotes version but remember to ‘give and take’! It could be the changing aspect and life and relationships are compromise. Life is too short to not give and take and smile all the while.

So maybe I have flowered the Meat and Potatoes but I had to get my point across...

The Cards You’ve Been Dealt…

In each of our lives we are all dealing with some type of “shit”. We are all bobbing and weaving to the best of our ability. We all have our mud we are trekking through and hard times with which we are forced to wake up to every day. We ALL have shit.

The difference between you and the next person is how you deal with your shit. Do you lie down and scream victim when you should be sucking-it-up or are you a victim walking with a front like you have your “shit” together? Either way, you’re an actor and need to decide if this is an Oscar winning role or just some baby shit that will grow up some day and flood your life. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want “shit” flooding my life?

You must remember that no matter the cards we are dealt, we are given the opportunity to own the hand of cards and keep it moving or lay down and allow it to consume us. What you need to know is, you are NOT alone. Even at a time that may seem scary, irritating, frustrating, life changing, “everything is on the line”, and/or painful, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! So begin your healing process by owning “it”. Owning your “shit”. Owning the fact that we have all been dealt cards that we didn’t expect, but it is the people who learn how to play the hand that win, even if it is a foul hand and you lose some dinero.

I arrived from Vegas this morning and realized how many people are walking aimlessly in this life, without purpose and goals, or if they have goals they do not know how to fulfill them with purpose. They simply hope for them and cry about them but never get up and own them. They never believe it be true for their life, so they continue to cry instead of reaping the blessing. There is a power within each of us that keeps begging for you to use it. It’s your super human power that is screaming at you like a Transformer character in the 3^rd grade begging and pleading you to put it to use. It is saying, “Stop the excuse and push the damn button!” It’s begging you to own your power and make rational decisions or live a little and “step on a crack”. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And the moment you set yourself free, you give up the ability of people to judge you OR if they judge you, you give up the power of their judgment to hurt you. You own your dignity and you flash the finger to the rest because YOU mean a hell of a lot more to YOU than anyone else. And it is amazing that when you do this, there is a window that opens in your life that allows other to stop and admire the ‘core’ person.

We are all dealing with some type of shit. It is our right and should be our mission to own it, speak on it and stop wining about it. Give yourself a chance and advocate for yourself. If you won’t, who will?

You have to deal with the cards that life has dealt in order to begin to enjoy the great connections that will happen afterward. It is when we put our cell phones away at dinner and cherish the moment that sits across from us that we begin to truly absorb the hand we have and learn how to make the right play.

Cheers to living in the moment, to taking a chance and owning the power you have, but just haven’t tapped into yet!

Akoo

A new era is upon the rappers in the game and the trends that follow them. The latest and most sleek to my view is Akoo, an acronym for "A King of Oneself". Check out the article for more info.

http://www.sojones.com/news/10108-akoo-clothings-exclusively-upscale-sneak-peek/

And look out for Akoo in you...

Opening The Door

It has been written by one of my fellow bloggers that “the one” for you will be able to open the door and greet as you would and with the utmost respect. Can you picture him/her, your prospective, your ideal man/woman, or even your crush opening your front door? To your friends? Your relatives? Your parents? Can you envision the handshakes, the hugs (as we do en mi familia) or the pouring of wine and making others feel comfortable? Can you picture it?

In thinking of this, I was chatting with a friend who began to ask some questions. I took this thought and in the midst of the questions I could not help but to immediately go to the place that I call, “my acceptance and my defeat.” I flipped the door idea and went back to the place of thinking, “will you accept all of me?” Would you allow yourself to open the door to the person I am beyond the simple definition and picture me opening your front door? To your friends? Your relatives? Your parents? Can you envision looking over at me as I chime your dishes and pour some wine? Can you feel the smile on your face from all the laughing and joking? Can you hear deep conversations and intellectual journeys? Can you see yourself opening the door to possibility? Imperfect to the degree yet in some ways, flawless at the core of me. Would you still open the door? Would you mind if our journey was a poetic one? Can you hear rhymes and songs as the creative juices subtly express themselves over more than just a few weeks, a few years? Can you open the door to dancing with me in the living room? How about opening the door to team work? Could you see yourself having me at your side, not in front or behind? Can you grasp a journey? Boys night or Girls night. Date night or Family night. Doing it big or finding the way.

Would you allow yourself to the open the door to this person?

And at some point, the number of doors that are willing to open for you will narrow. If one person can allow themselves to open their door to the person you are as well as open the door to the rest of your life and potentially the rest of your joint lives you will then watch the other doors close. This is not out of a foul heart, but because this certain door will be worth taking a chance and opening and maybe, just maybe, walking through.

Food for action…

Your Culture Fashionably Defined

I come from a plethora of backgrounds. I'm inspired by an array of people, places and things that my music culture, my fashion culture and my 'topic for discussion' culture are as mixed as I am. My culture soars from the 40s and 50s classy lady with an 80s baby twist and it reaches past blood lines and incorporates a multitude of traditions. It sings that I am different and yet harmonizes that I blend in. It picks apart ordinary and pieces together that "it" factor I desire. I am fashionably defined across the seas of time, heritage and trend.

They, whoever "they" are, say that "you are how you dress." Mothers and Grandmothers have been beating this concept into children for years. "if you dress like a _____ you will be treated like a _____."

I say, dress to please you, but reach beyond how your friends define you, how your "clique" defines you, how your job defines you, how your lifestyle defines you, how your supposed "where I come from" defines you or even how your ethnic background defines you. Fashionably embrace your character. Incorporate all of these things and maxmize on the fact that you are more than where you work, what you do and where you come from. Embrace the confidence, the swag, the tradition and the years that have defined you. And see if your outer appearance doesn't take on a new outlook based on it's connection to your inner outfit. Cheers to this past Fashion Week and to You, fashionably defined!

Rise or Fall? You Decide on the Occasion

Do you grab life or let life grab you?

It was an early morning that paid no attention to her plans. She got her son ready, straightened the house, made lunches and even packed a little time in to catch up with her friend. She rushes to get ready for the interview she's been waiting for. The sun is still shinning.

Her car wont run, so she had to arrange a ride. Her ride runs late with no reason and the situation is suddenly pouring out of her control. Shes frantic and as she pauses to wipe the tears from her eyes, she fixes her mascara, inhales deeply and decides to continue to her interview. She is now 15 minutes late. The clouds circle in.

This is the opportunity that she feels pin points the open path of a successful career. It is the position she has been looking for, in the field she has been ready for, at a time when she is ready for it and yet it's now 20 minutes passed 1:00 and she still has yet to arrive. She can feel the heat, but can no longer see the sun.

She calls to inform her interviewer she is running late and needs clearer directions. She is in the vicinity but cannot find the building. Trying to calm down, she takes a moment to breathe before finally finding the location and gathering her items to go in. She is now 30 minutes late to her interview. She gets out of the car and as she steps down, if nothing else could go wrong, the heel of her shoe snaps right off. Contemplating whether or not to go in, she pulls nerve from deep down in places only a few of us have reached and walks to the door going from 5'7" to 5'3" with each step. As she walks in to the Department of Community and Behavioral Health, she decides to just take off her shoes. The sky seems officially dark.

It's now 35 minutes passed the hour and she shows up with her hair frazzled, her shoes in hand with one heel missing and yet with a smile on her face, tells the lady, "I normally wear shoes to an interview." Through her chuckle and sincere apologies she kindly and briefly explains what happened. As the interviewer looked at her completely appalled she said, "I don't know if I would have come. That is a rough morning." And with her continuous smile, she responded, "well, life throws many things at us and we must learn how to go with the flow of things. Every day won't always be a good day, but you have to make the best out of everything. Nothing will always work perfectly."

Can you picture the interviewer's reaction and she then turned and said, "I wish I could look at life from that perspective." The sun suddenly began shinning again.

In my opinion, if you knew her, as I do, you would say just as I did, "Friend, you always rise to the occasion, no matter what it is!"

For most of us, we would have chopped it up to "not supposed to be" when our ride didn't show. For some of us, we would have held out until we couldn't find the location and a very small percentage of us would have gone all the way despite the messed up hair, height changes and 35 minutes passed the start time with no greater story than the truth and a smile.

In the midst of it, do you continue to poke yourself with the drug of determination? Do you still feign for success when the ride to it gets rocky?

She did.

Rise or Fall? You Decide on the Occasion.

THAT

Sometimes we need just THAT thing to make us bounce back to reality. Sometimes, like a slap in the face, we need just THAT thing that can stick a needle in our high and make us fall like a wilted balloon. Sometimes is feels good to know that THAT thing is nothing more than a lesson, a means to an end. Sometimes when all we feel is THAT thing, we realize that our personal growth is relying on so much more. Sometimes all it takes is THAT for your humility to surface and like a poet I encourage it.

Whatever THAT means to you. Please inhale it, exhale it and blow it away because THAT will not sustain you.

Time is a Miracle!!

During a conversation, today, with a friend of mine we were speaking about relationships and how amazing Time is. After going back and forth of how we view the amazing aspects of time, I finally shouted, “Time is a Miracle!”

In its true definition, Time must be used efficiently or you will miss the miracle of which I speak.

It was just yesterday that I was reviewing some old journal entries and came across one that I wrote just five weeks after I moved out and separated with my Ex. The entire entry was based on how five weeks had flown by and how much I was relieved from the place I once was with him and yet in the same breath, how close it felt to our first meeting, our first kiss and our first endeavors. I wrote a list of our “firsts”. The first time in the studio, the first time playing video games, the first time making dinner, the first time I showered at his place and the first time I did his laundry. I wrote, “It felt like yesterday, I was learning exactly how this man likes his laundry done and how whites are washed separately and differently then whites with colors on them.” He was a simple yet complex man who had routines that I felt I was spending my entire relationship trying to understand and “get used to”. There was a compromise I battled. As much as I adapted and bended in trying to be what he called for in me, I knew without a doubt, I could not be a rubber band in my relationship and I needed Time to figure out exactly what I needed. What I needed in a relationship, but more, what I needed for myself.